What I really want


I recently turned 33, and I find myself at a new and pleasant stage in my life. For the first time ever I’m not working toward a particular goal. You know how it goes: you work your way through the grades in school, then in my case I worked my way through a string of degrees. That accomplished, I worked my way through my domestic goals of a house, a husband, and a child. I was intent on working for a second child, but the timeline for that is obviously not something I have any say in. So what now?

Wednesday is Sparks’ last day at his job. He has been cleaning out twelve years worth of email, notes, general clutter, computer files, and yes… floppy disks. We’re all about to start a new phase in which he is working from home and working different hours. He’ll be with Mimi in the mid and late afternoon, leaving me free to pursue my own interests. And without a job tying us down, we are thinking about relocating. The climate here is lousy (broiling summers and frigid winters), a lot of our family isn’t particularly close (three hours, four hours, nine hours of driving), and opportunities for cultural enrichment and networking are sparse. We want to go somewhere milder, somewhere more beautiful, somewhere with more things going on. In short, we’d like to relocate to the Portland, Oregon area. We wouldn’t do it soon, the timeline is 1-4 years, but it’s on our minds.

I guess it’s time to start figuring out what else I might really want in my life. The big boxes have been ticked. I won’t die with major regrets. Now it’s time for the icing. And what is that?

I want to get some exercise every day. I like walking and yoga best.
I want to do a meditation every morning on my goals for the day and for life in general.
I want to spend time every day making things.

I want flower gardens.
I want to keep my books because I like having them around me.
I want to work with fibers, especially gorgeous fabric and nubbly delicious wool.
I want to handle rocks, the more lichen and moss the better. I’d like to build a dry stone wall.
I want to live in a place where it is open-window-weather most of the time. I want fresh air in my house.
I want to return to loving what my house looks like. The baby adventure turned my attention away from that. I want to think my house is the most beautiful, wonderful, and comfortable place in the world. Right now it’s ticking two of those boxes 😉


3 thoughts on “What I really want

  1. It seems like an exciting time, although a quiet one. Being content is something I strive for, it sounds like you have achieved this. Good for you!

  2. I am still not exactly content with my life, and I think most all of it has to do with where we live. It sounds very similar to where you live, but a lot worse. The weather is horrible most of the year, there are no opportunities for cultural enrichment, the economy is terribly depressing, and it’s really not a very pretty place, there is no variety – restaurants, shopping, culture, etc. Portland, Oregon is a place we have considered relocating to more than once. We have been researching it online for the past year. I have a stack of “Visit Portland” magazines! We have not visited, yet, but plan to as soon as we can work it out. Charlotte, NC is only one hour from where we live, and it’s like a different world there. It’s pretty, lots to do, the economy is booming, and my husband could easily transfer there with the company he works for (he is in financial services). So, that is what we are possibly considering for the short term, but Portland is always in the back of our minds for the long term. Have you visited Portland? If so, I would love to hear your thoughts.

  3. I haven’t been to Portland but my husband has. He says it’s beautiful and cool, just like you’d expect. He did observe that the people are somehow different from Midwesterners, and that there is a streak of individualism that leads not just to great food and art and music but also to unkempt lawns and other minor nuisances. My best window onto Portland is Portlandia (hah) which reminds me of any big college campus, and I’m comfortable with that.

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